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Dancing From Within

Rebecca Brown, LCSW

Being a dancer has allowed me to explore and connect with my body in different ways. Dancing to music that moves me just makes me feel good, period! I wish to share a little about my dance experiences, which inspired me to develop a program where dancers can dance with authenticity through embodiment and learn the art of Belly Dance.

A huge part of my identity is being a dancer (specifically a recreational and professional “Belly Dancer”) and while I love that it has given me another community to belong to, I at times have also been reminded to bring it back to me - my body and my own relationship with movement.

I see my dance world as a microcosm of the larger world around me, in that there is constant judgment and comparison of bodies and what they can do or how they can do it. In the dance world, like the rest of life, there are the more “preferable” bodies that have the look and can do the thing and then there are the “others” that may or may not be able to do the thing, but don’t get the same level of appreciation or consideration because they lack the look.

“For every time you don't perform, there’s one less beautiful Black dancer [for others to see]" is what an inspiring teacher shared with me as I expressed my concerns of being in this dance world, especially as a performer. As a woman of color, and in a body that’s not typically celebrated or considered “desirable” by mainstream American society (although recently there has been a stronger movement to appreciate and accept bodies of all types), my journey has been bittersweet. In the face of disappointment and closed doors, I am learning the value of creating my own doors and following my truths.

In classes I’ve attended, from beginner to professional, the point of reference is usually outward, centering around the intended audience, whether it is peers, the teachers, or the hypothetical audience who have paid to see us. I can recall a time where a fellow dancer was upset that a teacher constantly corrected her technique with the intention of sharpening her skill for performance, when the dancer just wanted to have fun for herself and was not interested in entertaining anyone!

Classes tend to stress the importance of body presence and entertaining viewers. It’s also important to note that what we call “Belly Dance” is our Westernized umbrella term for a variety of the traditional Middle Eastern dances such as Raks Sharki and Raks Baladi which have so much more to them than just the performance aspect. As a result, there is also a critical component of correctly teaching the execution and style of the movements while maintaining the integrity of the dance forms including cultural symbolism.

While each teacher may have their own style, I’ve noticed it is common practice for instructors to spend most of the time working through choreographies put together by the teacher. This can be fun and inspiring, but it also can be less inviting if you or your body don’t quite love the combinations or steps put together by the teacher. Considering this, I think it’s safe to say that most teachers create their choreographies based on their own interpretation of the music and how it makes them feel in their body, or how they envision sequences of movement using the dancers’ bodies.

Of course there are some of us out there who get what they need and want from those class structures; I most certainly have. I also, however, noticed that there were elements I was missing when it came to "making it my own" (as we’re often told for encouragement) or "having fun with it" as I simultaneously struggled to keep up with everyone else in class. For some, this dynamic can perpetuate the idea of not having the “right body” or the ability. It took me some time before I realized that I didn't know how to make it my own or have fun with it when I couldn't feel it, or move like the other person’s body when they did it. It can be such a disembodied and emotional experience standing beside a crowd of mixed level dancers, facing a mirror where we can all see each other. All the while trying to remember and execute the exact steps of the choreography as instructed and attempting to enjoy the experience as if it were all natural!

Dance, along with other art forms, can be mediums for social activism and of course self-expression and self-exploration. With this in mind, and the support of the WTCI community, I was able to craft up a mindfully-based six-week Belly Dance program that is dancer-focused rather than audience-focused. Drawing from my dance and related experiences alongside the insightful clinical training from the WTCI, I provide a safe space where participants have the opportunity to learn the beautiful art of Belly Dance and connect with their bodies, while challenging the negative ways they may relate to themselves.

Most of us can think back to the social influences over our lifetime that have either built us up or made us fall apart. My hope is that through the experience of dancing from within, participants begin to reclaim and retell their own body stories from a place of acceptance and empowerment. Dancing doesn’t always have to be a competition, looks don’t always have to be the determining factor, and you can totally just dance for yourself if you want to!

Rebecca Brown, LCSW is a New York State licensed psychotherapist in private practice and part time mental health counselor at The American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York. Rebecca specializes in treating adults dealing with eating disorders, disordered eating, body related concerns as well as life transitions. Rebecca is also a dancer and with her training in the WTCI's 2 year postgraduate training, Rebecca developed a recreational Belly Dance workshop focused on embracing all parts of the body, fostering a sense of empowerment and resistance to oppressive culture. Rebecca has also received training from The Body Positive Institute based in California. She received her MSW from New York University and a BS in Psychology from Northeastern University. In the past, Rebecca has also worked in schools, group practices and outpatient mental health clinics.